I'm giving away a random figure. The catch, tell me a story. about anything. my wife will pick a name out of a bag. this ends next friday at 6pm.

I remember the smell of my parent's divorce- it was the smell of flowers wilting in their vases, the smell of Heaven Hill vodka and stagnant dishwater, of cat urine in the carpet and cologne I didn't recognize. My mother had an affair with an unemployed truck driver, thus beginning a grim succession of out-of-work boyfriends who never owned thier own cars. My father was a traveling manager for Holiday Inn, and when he was gone, my mother would usher me to bed early and I would lie in the dark, listening to the sound of her boyfriend's bottle sliding across the refrigerator shelf, clinking on glasses, bumping the Formica counter- the swish on the bag before the thud at the bottom of the trashcan. They would laugh all night, my mother's drunken giggle shy behind the man's guffaw. I could envision the lonely flicker of the television embracing them while they embraced one another. I would awaken to cigarette butts that weren't of my father's brand floating in the toilet and stubble darker than his in the sink.

I once saw a girl who was a midget had false teeth and was covered in tatoos. She used to date a guy I knew, but never had tatoos back then. They got in an argument one day and he threw a pizza pop at her. This led to them splitting up and she called the cops and reporting him for selling drugs. He turned himself in and the cops held him for a day. Before he went back home the midget and her family cleaned the apartment out, taking all of his stuff. When they went to court I saw her wearing the guys gym pants. It came to pass that she was accussed of selling drugs as well, to inmates in jail. In the end she took his stuff and the dude spent 3 months in jail for posession of stollen goods. I saw her years later in a small town grocery store, covered with tatoos. I thought she and her family looked like a circus clown act. The sister was about 350lbs and 5' tall. The brother looked like a balding Ronald McDonald.

Believe it or not this is a true story!

Wow, that first was a good story. I just remember my dad telling me him and my mom were getting divorced. I asked what took him so long. It wasn't a real anything filled marrage. mostly apathetic.

Well here it goes, here's a story about how I met my wife (The best I could come up with). It was the spring of 96' and my friends and I where hanging out not really doing anything. One of my friends mentions that his ex girlfriend wants to meet me, I think to myself "oh boy this should be good". He show me her picture, and she's not bad really small and cute. But I tell him not today. Well nothing more was said to me for about a month, then he tells me I really need to call her. Well being chicken like I used to be with girlfriend situations I weaseled my way out of it. He gave me her phone number, which I promptly misplaced. Well as the story goes he bugged me relentlessly for all of June and July until I couldn't hardly stand it. So on August 2nd he told me for the last time to call her, well I didn't, but she did. My nephew answered the phone while I was playing my video games, I didn't think that she might be on the phone, but she was. We hit things off right away and started dating a week later. And the rest is history.:D

Once upon a time there was a man named Joe. He inlisted in the army and became GI Joe. He eventually became GI Jane...well sorta. lol

Well here it goes, here's a story about how I met my wife (The best I could come up with). It was the spring of 96' and my friends and I where hanging out not really doing anything. One of my friends mentions that his ex girlfriend wants to meet me, I think to myself "oh boy this should be good". He show me her picture, and she's not bad really small and cute. But I tell him not today. Well nothing more was said to me for about a month, then he tells me I really need to call her. Well being chicken like I used to be with girlfriend situations I weaseled my way out of it. He gave me her phone number, which I promptly misplaced. Well as the story goes he bugged me relentlessly for all of June and July until I couldn't hardly stand it. So on August 2nd he told me for the last time to call her, well I didn't, but she did. My nephew answered the phone while I was playing my video games, I didn't think that she might be on the phone, but she was. We hit things off right away and started dating a week later. And the rest is history.:D

So you didn't steal your friend's girl, he gave her to you?

I don't remember this happening, but it is a story about how vindictive I am and why you should never get on my bad side...
One day, when I was two or three days old, I was sitting on my patio eating an ice cream cone. During a moment of innattentiveness (which I guess happen quite a bit at that age, although that is just a guess because I really wasn't paying attention) the family dog maliciously snuck up behind me and at my ice cream off the cone (just going to show you that dog is really not man's best friend, he is patiently waiting for a chance to screw you over). Well, I REALLY like ice cream, and stealing my ice cream is not something that I take lightly, but remember that I was only a toddler and the dog was bigger than me and I couldn't take him in a fight (as you will soon see), so I bided my time. For three days and three nights I waited, dreaming only of my vengence. On the third day I snuck up on the dog and kicked him, exacting my revenge for his ice cream theft.

Then he bit me, so I decided that forgiveness was divine and I should let the dog have another chance to be my best friend.

When i first started reading Marvel's G.L.Joe comics, i just read them, didn't think one sec about those figures and vehicles, i had bought almost five years before, my first couple of Danish G.L.Joe issues was a gift from my Grandmom, i got four danish issues with two american issues collected, i sad down and read all of the issues in under a hour and the most schoking thing was I LIKE THEM, my adreanlin was pumping, every page i turned was just like being there, i remember when Scarlett shot the arrow at the lamb, it was just, OH MY GOD. When Will Bill dorve that bus true those barricades, it was great, i could almost hear the sounds inside my head.
The only time my adreanlin stopped was when, i had to laugh mostly because the joes was making a joke right in the middle of the battle, like when Trasher almost was blown out into the air.

IT WAS ADREANLIN, that was cocking inside me, like...like nothing i had felt before.

let me tell you all the nick names i have
highlander
gi jim
montycarlo guy
drunk jim

i frist got the name drunk jim was when i was in the band seen and all the peaple seen me drunk all the time at the shows, and at parties i was the guy that came in the 87 monty carlo , and was naked on the roof of house .

highlander came around the time when i was drunk and i wood carie a sword in the 87mcss and i wood sword fight ony one .
[there can be only one ]

i got gijim is becouse i wood ask every one i meet if they had gijoes that they had as a kid and do you want to sell them , and i were ary green close

i think its funny now is that i don't drink now ,maried, have a kid coming and i still get call drunk jim

the nick name that is used the most is HIGHLANDER

when i was 15 i went out on my first date! everything was awsome! we went to pizza hut fir dinner. we went and saw home alone at the movies. it was great. and she was a very beautiful woman. he name was gina. she was my cousins girlfriend but they always argued (drama at 15. i would take that back ina heartbeat over payin bills lol). anyway, my cousin was crashin at my house when he called her. they started arguing so he handed the phone to me. that started what would end up being my greatest friendship ever. me and gina would talk for hours on the phone. she would even sometimes come stay with me. but back to the date, it was the first time we ever met. so odviously i was nervous. well after the movie we walked to the mall, where my dad was goina pick us up. we had like 2 hours to kill so we walked around the mall. we talked and got ta know each other a little more. well we came upon the escalators (sp?) in JV Pennys. i got the absolute worst idea ever. "lets impress her by running UP the DOWN secalator). big mistake. i said "watch this gina" and started runnin. i failed to notice my shoes untied. so i got up maybe 5 steps and fell! when i fell i fell back so i hit my headhard. i was SOOOO embarrassed. and that wasnt the worst part. it knocked me out so i was unconcious. they called the emergency squad and i spent 3 days in the hospital with a concussion. me and gina stayed friends until she got married 6 years ago! i have a ball with her! we were such awsome friends! i hope her husband treats her like the gem she is. i miss my gina!

there was a frog named benny. benny was a good frog, but he was not well liked. the other frogs ignored him. he wanted to be more popular, so he called on his fairy godmother. she told him that she would give him a beard to make him more flamboyant, but he could never shave it off. if he did, she would turn him in to an urn. he swore that he would wear it proud. so, she gave him the beard. it was glorious and shone like a rainbow. he was very popular with the ladies. they always wanted to go back to his pad. over time, though, the beard got dirtier and dirtier. he had no way to remove dirt that was clogging it up. the colors began to fade and the other frogs started to make fun of him, which is much worse than being ignored. he went home and shaved it off. immediately, the fairy godmother appeared and turned him in to an urn. The Moral: A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

Once upon a time there was boy who lived in a box and one day he came over to a friends to swim. the boy hit his friend in the ear and then his friend died. suddenly a genie rose out of the water and said YOU FREED ME NOW YOU CAN HAVE A WISH!!!well genie" the boy said" i want my friend to be alive again... no wait i want him to be a hot girl!!!WELL UM... OK BOOM SHAKA LAKA LAKA... your wish is granted yadayadayada bye now. then a hot girl rose out of the water.
The moral of the is that you should keep friends close but keep hot girls closer... crappy moral huh...

I was in a hurry in my car the other day. On a small road, with 1 lane going either way, the road finally widened. I passed some slow moving old guy who was driving in front of me, and got back in front of him. Well, that ****ed him off, and he did a crazy move to get back in front of me.
He was mad at me, but instead of keying my car, or reporting me to the cops, he got even with me right away. I respect him for it. I laughed and thought. "this old guy has some balls!" If he had deflated my tires or something, I wouldn't even have known who had done it, or why.

This story is going to be short and simple, but sweet....

Sunday at the Wizardworld convention, my girlfriend and I were going around getting stuff signed (comics and whatnot). While, my GF doesn't read an awful lot of comics, so on Friday when the convention started, she was able to get all her stuff signed that she wanted and in fact she got everything she wanted to do done at the con. We however, had 3 days passes and I had plenty to do. So, on the second and third day of the convention, she went around and helped me get stuff signed. She waited in one line for a while, got something signed and the move to another and got stuff signed... This basically was all she did the entire day, and most of the time it was to help me get my stuff signed. Anyhow, on Sunday I was walking by the Marvel comics booth and just behind it, they had a new artist named Joe Dobb (he currently is the artist for a few Marvel Comics), and he was sketching any super hero you wanted, for FREE! I jumped in line since it was very short and I watched as he poured a lot of effort into these sketches. He's a new guy, so the fame hasn't effected the amount of time he puts into a sketch yet. While, he finally did mine and I looked at the line behind me and as shocking as the line was still short...

So (in my geeky comic way), to tried to show my girlfriend my thanks to her for waiting in lines all day, I jumped back in line waited another 45 min. and when I got up to the front, I asked Joe if he could sketch another one for me, but this time, could he do it for my GF and personalize it thanking her for all the help she had done for me during the convention. So he said it was no problem at all, asked who her favorite character was and I told him Spider Man. He then proceeded to sketch not only the face of Spider Man (because up until now, he had only been drawing head shots of characters), but he also drew spider-man all the way down to the torso. It look him about 10 - 15 min and as sappy as this is, I sorta gushed on and on about her and how much help she had done for me at the convention for me. He kept asking me more questions about her and etc and the next thing I know, 15 min had passed, he completed the piece, and it looked like the best and most detailed sketched he had done the entire day. Then he personalized it for me and sent me on my way to go give it to her... I got back to her, where she was waiting in another line and gave it to her and she was awe struck and started blushing... She said it was the best sketch she ever owned (she has about 20 - 30) and this was going to get framed and put up on the wall when we got home...

The End!

Tanner

It was a long and humdrum day in the tomatoe patch. I noticed that Scott and Joey were loitering by the truck. I also knew that the truck was the best place to be if a tomatoe war was to break out. The truck had many boxes of tamotoes on it and provided cover. I notified Johnny and Benji, the other to workers in the field. I turned to notice a tomatoe hurtle through the air landing close to Benji. It was an all out war. I though myself to the ground under the cover of the tomatoe plants. I began to crawl over to the truck. I got up and took off to an all out sprint when suddenly I was hit in the lower back, I fell just to make it look more dramatic. The skirmish ended when we spotted our boss coming. I got up quickly and went back to picking tomatoes.

True story except for the part about our boss coming.

It was a long and humdrum day in the tomatoe patch. I noticed that Scott and Joey were loitering by the truck. I also knew that the truck was the best place to be if a tomatoe war was to break out. The truck had many boxes of tamotoes on it and provided cover. I notified Johnny and Benji, the other to workers in the field. I turned to notice a tomatoe hurtle through the air landing close to Benji. It was an all out war. I though myself to the ground under the cover of the tomatoe plants. I began to crawl over to the truck. I got up and took off to an all out sprint when suddenly I was hit in the lower back, I fell just to make it look more dramatic. The skirmish ended when we spotted our boss coming. I got up quickly and went back to picking tomatoes.

True story except for the part about our boss coming.

Plus four for using the following spelling words:
"humdrum"
"loitering"
"hurtle"
"skirmish"

Minus two for:
misspelled "Tamatoes"
"hurtle" should be "hurtling"

+3 for creativity
+3 for being in a tomatoe war

Overall: A

Before me and my wife got married and started dating she set me up with her friend. Figuring if i was good enough for her I was good enough for her friend.

Anywas moral of the story

You can share your friends
You can share your wife
You cann't share your wife's friends?

With the storm coming in. A small town closed it's windows and doors and the guards lite their
torches to guide anyone on the streets home. The clouds covered the moon.. Lightning filled the dark sky..
Powerful winds blew in over a small town.. However the tree branches did not move.

A low fog started to move in. The towns guards was struck with aww watching the fog flow just
below their knees at a rapid rate. The guards called to each other by a slient look and they filled
the towns streets. Each of them slowly looked around breathing the freshly stale air and feeling the
wind blow against their exposed skin. Their eyes widen as they noticed the torches was not moving
along with the wind.

One guard dropped his torched and drew his sword in fear.

Decaying arms reached up from the fog and grabbed one guard and took hold of him. He screamed
in great fear as his armor turned to rust and feel apart like ash. His skin poured off his bones like
water freezing his skull showing he died screaming. The guards drew their swords but it was to late.
The same fate rushed over them.

As the fog moved onward out of town, the remains of the guards stayed behind for anyone to find.

She said it was going to be a rough ride for a moment. Usually Grandma is never wrong and this yet again proved that age old belief to be true. The view darkened as the turbulence began to shake everything around. For a moment I wondered if this would be more than a rough ride. Before it could be thought to ask, Grandma leaned over and said everything would be fine. As comfort set in suddenly everything went quiet. The horizon returned to it's place and people began to talk as if this were a family reunion.

It's those troubled times, those odd unusual times, that everyone suddenly stops and opens up. This was one of those times. It's a shame that it all had to end. Maybe something more will happen.

Bored of walking we approached a flight of stairs. But without effort we glided down them till we reached the bottom. Amongst the view was an array of bag spitters. Before long, but well after being tired of sitting, the machine began to spin and spit bags out. Grandma kept saying "no" untill finally she let go a "finally" and she grabbed our bags and we were off.

It was a strange car with an odd smell. I don't know how she managed to talk the guy into giving it to her but atleast we were on our way. Grandma said it would be a long ride and as usual she was right. Tired of the trees a nice eye rest seemed like a plan. It seemed like forever since there had been a chance to rest.

Suddenly a bump and sleeping was over. Where were we. How did we get here. Where ever it was didn't matter so much as immediately windows went down, my eye caught glipse of a tall bridge, and a cool breeze went through the car.

A few moments later we were deep within the interiors of a building. It was time to get out... time to go upstairs. Time, to go.

At the end of a long row of identicle doors we were at the one to enter. As the door opened a cheering erupted. Everyone was welcoming me back.

Without warning tears erupted. It didn't seem this kind of reception was possible given the circumstances. Now, maybe things would be normal or atleast without as much conflict. The long hikes, bad food, and being yelled at by strangers was no fun.

Suddenly it was as if we were at a family reunion. Except this time, it didn't end.


~fini~


This has been a purely fictional story by nightc1. I hope it made you think.

good stories. keep 'em coming only another day or so.

Rapid-fire. send me your addy.

cool, PM sent! thanks man! w00t

Great thread!

So you didn't steal your friend's girl, he gave her to you?


I didn't want to say anything until after the contest was over, but yeah that is pretty much the case. She bugged him relentlessly to have him introduce us. :D