Every now and then, I put together some extra body parts and make something goofy.

Today's strange figure is:

Head: Funschool Croc Master
Torso: Night Force Crazylegs
Arms: Ninja Force Snake-eyes
Waist: Roadpig
Left thigh: StarViper
Right Thigh: Croc Master
Left foot: Zanzibar
Right Foot: Wild Weasel
Accessories: Firefly backpack, Roadblock 50 cal. (sawed off), Stalker gun (modified)

Your mission is to tell me who this guy is? What's he called? What's he do?
Make a "file card" or tell a story, whatever. Entries will be judged on detail or humor or creativity.

The entry I like best, by Sept 22nd, will win this guy, or something else from my trade list (if you don't want him)...
You may enter as many times as you like!

-LOU

File Name: Dragonfly
Saboteur

Little is known about the sabotuer known as Dragonfly. It is rumored that he comes from the same Koga ninja clan as Firefly, a rumor backed up by an intense rivalry between the two. Dragonfly moves quickly and silently using a combination of ninja techniques and high technology to remain unseen. His mask has a breathing apparatus to allow survival underwater or in the most hostile environment, and he wears heavy body armor at all times, though it is rarely needed. Someone would have to catch him first!

"If you spot me, it'll be the last thing you ever see."

Deathstroke is an evil mercenary who, like Major Bludd, would work for the highest bidder, namely COBRA Commander. He is a highly sadistic individual with a high pain threshold and strikes fear into GIJOEs and COBRAs alike. He doesn't speak much, and prefers to be that way, since his actions speak louder than his words. He attacks his enemies without mercy and on some occasions, makes them die a slow, painful death. Unlike most COBRAs, he's unwilling to retreat unless he's badly wounded. Otherwise, he will keep fighting until he fufills his assigned mission.

"I have not seen an enemy more determined than Deathstroke since the Fast Blast Vipers. He's not as willing to give up his life as they do, but the fact that COBRA has a mercenary as sadistic as he is out there is enough to make us extremely paranoid." -Clayton Abernathy, a.k.a. General Hawk

his name would be HADES VIPER.. look at theeyes, those are errie, i thought that would be something to torture you for the rest of your life if you go to hades , primay mission, FEAR, interrigations, cook...who would tell him his food stinks? and who would nt breakdown and give infoe if he was starring at you from the outside of a spotlites beam where all you can see are those eyes thru the darkness??

The only thing I can come up with is

GIMP

Befriended by an unknown group and quickly mistreated for years. He took revenge on them all. And now with a no none sense attitude. He roams and attacks anyone who crosses his path. BEWARE JOES!!

COBRA
ENEMY

CodeName: The Dominator
Primary Military Specialty: Domination
Secondary Military Specialty: Submission
Real Name: Seymour Spanky
BirthPlace: San Francisco, CA

Many believe that within the Cobra hierarchy, the worst possible punishment for any infraction is a trip to the Interrogator's dungeon. However there is any other much worse fate for those who dare to cross any of the Cobra elite, in even the slightest way. Little is known about the Dominator's chamber of horrors, except that if your sentenced to go down there, taking your life is probably the easiest way out. Rumored to be an exile from the Adult Film Industry, Dominator has dedicated his life to punishing men in the worst way possible. Many believe he is also somehow closely related to the Gi Joe operative Big Brawler, but that link has no factual basis, except for the fact that both like to wear black, and favor the whip as a weapon of choice.

From Cobra Commander's personal Files: "Dominator is probably the wisest investment i have ever made. Just the mention of his name makes everyone stand at attention. Besides which i dont have to pay him, apparently he gets tremendous job satisfaction."

Scourge

Often thought to be the most fierce and dangerous cobra operative. This reputation comes from being the only surviving team member of several elite and hazardous missions. What is not widely known is that he survives this great peril by hiding. A computer programmer by trade, he turned thirty with 50 million dollars and did not know what to do with his life. So, he made the scariest outfit he could, picked a name from Roget's thesaurus, fudged a resume, and went to work for Cobra Command. The travel is fun, the adrenaline is great. He would, however, like to see forty. It is not so much cowardice, as it is self-preservation.


"I really like it when I walk around a corner and people cringe. I feel so powerful"

"This is great fun.......unless I get shot."

Tar Viper

Little is known of these vipers. They never see the battle lines and they never stray far from base. These guys stay behind lines and ensure that Cobra's influstructure is attended too. Keen to detail, Tar Vipers are good with all road working tools and heavy machine operations. Though they may sound goofy and may not be feared, one should keep a close watch of these troops. Once an area has been conquered by Cobra, the Tar Vipers move in and make it home for the rest of the troops following behind the front lines. In a blink of an eye you will not only have lost land, but Cobra will have built it up and Fleets of HISS are not far behind.

"Keep the front lines moving forward, because we don't move back..."

These entries have been great so far!

Is he an elite mercenary or a Sexual Deviant? It's all up to you!

I'm surprised no one has mentioned his sawed-off 50 Caliber "Pistol" yet...

I think the studded crotch piece draws attention away from his gun ;)

CROC VIPER
Under water assault troops

Wierd experiments in Mindbender lab came up with this creature,Half man Half croc, They only operate in warm climates due to the cold bloodedness, Making them worthess except for guarding around Cobra island; Where Cobra commander dosent want them to be located.

From Cobra commanders file;
This abomination is the BEST Doctor mindbender can come up with using the VENOM serum?

---------------
How's that :D

His name is Twisted, just like his mind, he is the 4th pain brother, and the only one still alive after SnakeEyes killed his brothers. Recently escaped from an assylum for the criminally insane he has linked himself to cobra in order to gain his revenge against Snake Eyes for the death of his brothers!

The deadline for this contest is tomorrow, so if you haven't entered yet, do it now!

Thanks to all of the entries so far. Lots of good ones!

Zombie Viper

Combination of body parts found in the morgue with the neural matrix similar to Overkill.

here are two replies.
the first is:
name: Bollicks
function: Cobra Heavy Assult Gunner
Like the saw viper you only need one. Bollicks is named because when Joe Greenshirts see this big monster carrying dual machine guns, that's what they yell. Bollicks is so mean and nasty that the only friends he's made are the Croc Master's Croc. He has such a nasty desposition that both Croc Master and Road Pig are afraid of him. He sleeps with his maskon and his chest armor is heavy chainmail with a level of kevlar.

Second choice
King Croc.
Inspired by Batman the animated series's killer croc and bane. Jeff Addams became a professional wrestler after a long period of steroid abuse. Vic mcKay of the CWF (cobra wrestling federation) publicly humiliated him event after a event and then one day in order to save his skin Vic told the world of Jeff's habbits. Crushed and disgraced Jeff left the ring. Tomax and Zamot paid Jeff a visit and told him that they were interested in how far he would go in the services of Cobra. They give him two machine guns and sent him in the direction of the CWF saying that Vic embarrassed them and would like to end the partnership. Jeff goes and lays waste to CWF shouting weird Croc inspired catch phrases like Croc to It and other madness. The twins were surprised to see Jeff alive but they gacve him a place with cobra cleaning up after the Croc Master and his Crocs.

Croc Master

It was originally suspected that Croc Master had died in the abandoned freighter that COBRA Commander trapped him and other COBRAs in. However, Firefly helped him to escape by programming some of the BATs. After COBRA Commander discovered this, he felt furious at first and paid Major Bludd to kill him. A few days later, Neo-Viper Commander and the Neo-Vipers were plotting to betray COBRA Commander and try to kill him. Someone sneaked behind Neo-Viper Commander and with a loud snap, broke his neck and killed him. Then he shot the Neo-Vipers as they hesitated. COBRA Commander looked into his eyes and saw it was none other than Croc Master! He laughed and told him, "Welcome back to COBRA, my old friend! I didn't know you knew how to use guns." Firefly told COBRA Commander he had trained Croc Master and taught him how to use them.

Thanks to all of you that entered! I enjoyed reading all of the entries. Many of you had better ideas for this figure than I would have....

I graded each entry five points of criteria:

Believability: How reasonable is the profile for a joe character
Humor: Was it funny
Explanation: How well was the profile thought out or written
Fit: How well does the profile fit THIS figure
Creativity: How original was the profile


The winner:
Rasputin and "Dominator"

-Rasputin, PM me to claim a prize!

Second place
Amphigory --- Scourge

Third Place
Ranger_jer --- Twisted

(Second and third place don't win anything, but I figured that I'd mention them anyway)

thanks!
-LOU

Yippee,


I would just like to say that Crotch piece served as the inspiration here.

Without it i dont know where i would be.

Thanks Graz :)


PM on the way.