Mr. Angry Beef
03-05-2005, 05:07 PM
Hey guys. Mods feel free to move it if neccessary. Today I had a wicked hankering to write an episode of GI JOE. So I started and am about half way done.
Imagine this as a Sunbow episode after the movie.
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. GI JOE HEADQUARTERS - EVENING
THE SUN IS JUST STARTING TO GO DOWN ON THE BASE. A TRIO OF CONQUEST JETS ARE APPROACHING FOR LANDING.
INT. GI JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMPUTER CENTER - EVENING
DIAL-TONE AND MAINFRAME SIT IN FRONT OF THE MASSIVE COMPUTER BANKS.
DIAL-TONE
Well, Mainframe, everything's in check.
MAINFRAME
Routine as usual. Ever since Cobra lost that battle in the Himalayas it's been smooth sailing around here.
DIAL-TONE
We only have one team out in the field even. Hopefully they are getting a little excitement.
MAINFRAME
Beachhead's team can handle anything. Even if they do get some action, it probably wouldn't last very long.
EXT. JUNGLE RIVER - DAY
BEACHHEAD, LEATHERNECK AND WETSUIT DUCK BEHIND AN OVERTURNED BOAT AT THE SHORELINE. LAZER BLASTS FLY PAST THEM. THEY RETURN FIRE.
LEATHERNECK
We've been pinned down for hours Beachhead.
BEACHHEAD
You think I can't tell time Leatherneck?
ACROSS THE RIVER ARE DOZENS OF RIVER PIRATES.
BEACHHEAD
We don't move until Recondo and Footloose return. No sense pulling back if all we are doing is pulling back into an ambush.
WETSUIT
Yeah ya jarhead.
LEATHERNECK
Why don't you make yourself useful squidboy and swim across the river and take the fight to them?
WETSUIT
I would if we hadn't of lost all our gear when our boat got hit. Someone was supposed to be on guard.
LEATHERNECK
I was watching-
BEACHHEAD
If you two old ladies don't stop bickering I'll toss both of you into the river.
A GRENADE LANDS IN FRONT OF THEIR BOAT.
LEATHERNECK
Down!
THE GRENADE STARTS LETTING OFF SMOKE.
RECONDO AND FOOTLOOSE CRAWL OUT OF THE JUNGLE AND UP TO THE THREE OTHER JOES.
FOOTLOSE
Hey dudes, it's like a rock concert out here with all the lazers and smoke.
BEACHHEAD
Can it Footloose. Is the path clear?
RECONDO
Clear, Beachhead. We even found a hut we can use for cover.
BEACHHEAD
Let's move it Joes!
THE JOES RETREAT INTO THE JUNGLE UNDER THE COVER OF SMOKE.
INT. GI JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMPUTER CENTER - NIGHT
DIAL-TONE AND MAINFRAME SIT AS BEFORE. MAINFRAME YAWNS AND THEN STANDS.
MAINFRAME
Well I'm off duty Dial-tone. It's all yours.
DIAL-TONE
You have a good night. Big plans?
MAINFRAME
Oh yeah, I've got a date with Scarlet and Covergirl.
DIAL-TONE
Make sure your health insurance is paid up.
A RED LIGHT BEGINS TO FLASH ON THE CONSOLE.
DIAL-TONE
Uh-oh.
MAINFRAME
What is it?
DIAL-TONE
Beachhead's team is offically overdue for check in.
MAINFRAME
That's not like Beachhead.
DIAL-TONE
I know. We better tell Flint.
EXT. JUNGLE HUT - DAY
THE FIVE JOES WALK UP TO THE HUT.
BEACHHEAD
You check it for traps?
RECONDO
No tripwires, no tiger traps. I won't vouch for anything else.
FOOTLOSE
It's a port and it's storming.
RECONDO
I'm going to circle back and lay some claymores on the path. If those pirates come calling we'll hear the bells.
RECONDO GOES BACK INTO THE JUNGLE.
BEACHHEAD
Let's get this hut turned into a fort pronto Joes.
INT. GI JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMPUTER CENTER - NIGHT
FLINT, DRINKING A CUP OF COFFEE AND OBVIOUSLY JUST WOKEN UP, WALKS INTO THE ROOM. DIAL-TONE AND MAINFRAME ARE WAITING.
FLINT
What's the situation Dial-Tone.
DIAL-TONE
Beachhead hasn't checked in.
FLINT
That's not like Beachhead.
MAINFRAME
That's what I said.
FLINT
We have their last known coordinates. Falcon has a team stationed in Japan. We'll call them in and hope they are not too late.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
RECONDO PLANTS A CLAYMORE ALONG THE PATH.
RECONDO
That's the last one.
IN THE DISTANCE HE CAN HEAR THE PIRATES APPROACHING.
RECONDO
That's my cue.
A SHADOW FALLS OVER HIS BACK. HE TURNS AROUND.
RECONDO
What the-
A BLACK BOOK KICKS HIM THE FACE AND KNOCKS HIM UNCONSCIOUS.
END OF ONE
ACT TWO
SCENE
EXT. AIRCRAFT CARRIER DECK - DAY
A TOMAHAWK CHOPPER SITS ON THE DECK. FALCON AND LIFT-TICKET ARE TALKING BY THE COCKPIT.
LIFT-TICKET
I can get you there soon enough. Where's your team?
FALCON
They're coming.
FIVE JOES BEGIN TO WALK TOWARD THE CHOPPER. THERE ARE SEASONED VETERANS; SPIRIT AND GUNG-HO. THEY ARE JOINED BY NEWER JOES; HIT AND RUN, TUNNEL RAT, AND REPEATER.
LIFT-TICKET
Five? I thought your team was six?
FALCON
It is. One of them hopped in a rowboat. He said he had his own way of getting there.
LIFT-TICKET
And you let him do it?
FALCON
A good leader knows when not to question his men.
LIFT-TICKET
What's your excuse?
FALCON
Watch it chopper chump.
(to his team)
Get on board. We've got Joes whose butts might need saving.
THE JOES GET ON THE CHOPPER AND IT TAKES OFF.
EXT. JUNGLE HUT - DAY
THE HUT NOW LOOKS LARGELY DEFENSIBLE. BRACHES COVER PARTS OF IT MAKING IT LOOK BIGGER THAN IT IS. TWO MAKESHIFT PILLBOXES GUARD THE FRONT. WETSUIT IS IN ONE AND LEATHERNECK IS IN THE OTHER.
WETSUIT
Flat head.
LEATHERNECK
Wet brain.
INT. HUT - DAY
FOOTLOSE GUARDS A BACK DOOR ON THE HUT. BEACHHEAD GOES THROUGH THEIR BACK PACKS.
BEACHHEAD
We're low on ammo. Low on grenades.
FOOTLOSE
Bummer.
BEACHHEAD
Yeah. Bummer. Where's Recondo? He should have been back by now. I'd hate to think-
FOOTLOSE
Don't think it then. Stay positive man.
EXT. JUNGLE HUT - SAME
AN EXPLOSION IS HEARD FROM THE JUNGLE.
LEATHERNECK
You hear that?
WETSUIT
About a second before you did.
LEATHERNECK
Then why aren't you firing?
WETSUIT
Ladies first.
A LAZER BLAST BARELY MISSES WETSUIT. THE TWO JOES BEGIN FIRING. BEACHHEAD APPEARS IN THE DOOR AND STARTS FIRING.
BEACHHEAD
Footloose, cover our backs.
THE RIVER PIRATES START POURING OUT OF THE JUNGLE.
BEACHHEAD
They must have captured Recondo.
THE PIRATES SURROUND THE HUT.
INT. JUNGLE HUT - SAME
FOOTLOOSE IS FIRING OUT OF THE BACK DOOR.
FOOTLOSE
You know what I wish guys? That like, a Tomahawk with a platoon of reinforcements just appeared on the horizon.
EXT. JUNGLE HUT - SAME
LEATHERNECK
Footloose, why don't you- Look!
THE TOMAHAWK APPEARS ON THE HORIZON. IT CIRCLES AROUND THE HUT AND DRIVES THE PIRATES BACK INTO THE JUNGLE. THE CHOPPER LANDS.
FOOTLOSE
I wish I had a million dollars.
FALCON
Will you settle for some dogface soldiers?
FOOTLOSE
That's cool too.
BEACHHEAD
Thanks for the save Lieutenant.
FALCON
Don't mention it. Flint called us out when you got overdue on the check in. Now I see why. So those pirates working for Cobra or what?
BEACHHEAD
They are working for someone. They are too well armed to just be your usual band of cutthroats. Worst of all we think they got Recondo.
FALCON
All right let's split up. Spirit you see if you can get Recondo's trail. Take Tunnel Rat, Hit and Run, and Leatherneck. Everyone else back on the chopper. We'll get an aerial view.
BEACHHEAD
Hold up a minute-
FALCON
Beachhead, the mission is mine now. Stand down.
BEACHHEAD
Yes sir.
FALCON
Spirit take a radio. Stay in contact.
SPIRIT TAKES HIS TEAM INTO THE JUNGLE.
THE REST OF THE JOES GET BACK ON BOARD. BEACHHEAD AND FOOTLOOSE ARE THE LAST ONES.
BEACHHEAD
A few months ago I was barking orders at him now look at him.
FOOTLOSE
Just goes to show what a good teacher you are Beachhead.
BEACHHEAD
Your positivity is getting on my last nerve.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
SPIRIT LEADS THE THREE OTHER JOES TO THE SPOT WHERE RECONDO WAS ATTACKED.
SPIRIT
He planted the last claymore here. This is where the trail ends.
LEATHERNECK
This is where the pirates got him?
SPIRIT
Not pirates.
TUNNEL RAT
No pirates? Then who grabbed him?
SPIRIT
The pirates wear sandles. The tracks around here are boots.
TUNNEL RAT
All right, let's go after anyone with boots.
HIT AND RUN FINDS RECONDO'S HAT A FEW STEPS OFF THE PATH.
HIT AND RUN
I've never met the man. Is this his hat?
LEATHERNECK
Darn right it's his hat. You new jokers have no respect for the originals.
HIT AND RUN
Sorry.
SPIRIT
The trail goes off this way.
SPIRIT WALKS INTO THE JUNGLE.
EXT. JUNGLE - LATER
THE JOES ON THE GROUND MAKE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE JUNGLE.
SPIRIT
The foot trail is coming to an end.
LEATHERNECK
So we lost them?
SPIRIT
I said the foot trail.
SPIRIT PULLS ASIDE SOME BRANCHES TO REVEAL A CLEARING. SEVERAL SETS OF TANK TREAD MARKS MOVE AWAY FROM THEM AND INTO THE JUNGLE, CLEARING A WIDE PATH.
TUNNEL RAT
You gotta be kidding me.
ABOVE, THE JOES IN THE TOMAHAWK SEE THE TRAIL AS WELL. IT APPEARS TO GO FAR INTO THE DISTANCE.
SPIRIT
Falcon-
FALCON
I see it Spirit. I see it. That's not a normal tread design. And I don't recognize it as Cobra. Who are we up against?
END OF
ACT TWO
Imagine this as a Sunbow episode after the movie.
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. GI JOE HEADQUARTERS - EVENING
THE SUN IS JUST STARTING TO GO DOWN ON THE BASE. A TRIO OF CONQUEST JETS ARE APPROACHING FOR LANDING.
INT. GI JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMPUTER CENTER - EVENING
DIAL-TONE AND MAINFRAME SIT IN FRONT OF THE MASSIVE COMPUTER BANKS.
DIAL-TONE
Well, Mainframe, everything's in check.
MAINFRAME
Routine as usual. Ever since Cobra lost that battle in the Himalayas it's been smooth sailing around here.
DIAL-TONE
We only have one team out in the field even. Hopefully they are getting a little excitement.
MAINFRAME
Beachhead's team can handle anything. Even if they do get some action, it probably wouldn't last very long.
EXT. JUNGLE RIVER - DAY
BEACHHEAD, LEATHERNECK AND WETSUIT DUCK BEHIND AN OVERTURNED BOAT AT THE SHORELINE. LAZER BLASTS FLY PAST THEM. THEY RETURN FIRE.
LEATHERNECK
We've been pinned down for hours Beachhead.
BEACHHEAD
You think I can't tell time Leatherneck?
ACROSS THE RIVER ARE DOZENS OF RIVER PIRATES.
BEACHHEAD
We don't move until Recondo and Footloose return. No sense pulling back if all we are doing is pulling back into an ambush.
WETSUIT
Yeah ya jarhead.
LEATHERNECK
Why don't you make yourself useful squidboy and swim across the river and take the fight to them?
WETSUIT
I would if we hadn't of lost all our gear when our boat got hit. Someone was supposed to be on guard.
LEATHERNECK
I was watching-
BEACHHEAD
If you two old ladies don't stop bickering I'll toss both of you into the river.
A GRENADE LANDS IN FRONT OF THEIR BOAT.
LEATHERNECK
Down!
THE GRENADE STARTS LETTING OFF SMOKE.
RECONDO AND FOOTLOOSE CRAWL OUT OF THE JUNGLE AND UP TO THE THREE OTHER JOES.
FOOTLOSE
Hey dudes, it's like a rock concert out here with all the lazers and smoke.
BEACHHEAD
Can it Footloose. Is the path clear?
RECONDO
Clear, Beachhead. We even found a hut we can use for cover.
BEACHHEAD
Let's move it Joes!
THE JOES RETREAT INTO THE JUNGLE UNDER THE COVER OF SMOKE.
INT. GI JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMPUTER CENTER - NIGHT
DIAL-TONE AND MAINFRAME SIT AS BEFORE. MAINFRAME YAWNS AND THEN STANDS.
MAINFRAME
Well I'm off duty Dial-tone. It's all yours.
DIAL-TONE
You have a good night. Big plans?
MAINFRAME
Oh yeah, I've got a date with Scarlet and Covergirl.
DIAL-TONE
Make sure your health insurance is paid up.
A RED LIGHT BEGINS TO FLASH ON THE CONSOLE.
DIAL-TONE
Uh-oh.
MAINFRAME
What is it?
DIAL-TONE
Beachhead's team is offically overdue for check in.
MAINFRAME
That's not like Beachhead.
DIAL-TONE
I know. We better tell Flint.
EXT. JUNGLE HUT - DAY
THE FIVE JOES WALK UP TO THE HUT.
BEACHHEAD
You check it for traps?
RECONDO
No tripwires, no tiger traps. I won't vouch for anything else.
FOOTLOSE
It's a port and it's storming.
RECONDO
I'm going to circle back and lay some claymores on the path. If those pirates come calling we'll hear the bells.
RECONDO GOES BACK INTO THE JUNGLE.
BEACHHEAD
Let's get this hut turned into a fort pronto Joes.
INT. GI JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMPUTER CENTER - NIGHT
FLINT, DRINKING A CUP OF COFFEE AND OBVIOUSLY JUST WOKEN UP, WALKS INTO THE ROOM. DIAL-TONE AND MAINFRAME ARE WAITING.
FLINT
What's the situation Dial-Tone.
DIAL-TONE
Beachhead hasn't checked in.
FLINT
That's not like Beachhead.
MAINFRAME
That's what I said.
FLINT
We have their last known coordinates. Falcon has a team stationed in Japan. We'll call them in and hope they are not too late.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
RECONDO PLANTS A CLAYMORE ALONG THE PATH.
RECONDO
That's the last one.
IN THE DISTANCE HE CAN HEAR THE PIRATES APPROACHING.
RECONDO
That's my cue.
A SHADOW FALLS OVER HIS BACK. HE TURNS AROUND.
RECONDO
What the-
A BLACK BOOK KICKS HIM THE FACE AND KNOCKS HIM UNCONSCIOUS.
END OF ONE
ACT TWO
SCENE
EXT. AIRCRAFT CARRIER DECK - DAY
A TOMAHAWK CHOPPER SITS ON THE DECK. FALCON AND LIFT-TICKET ARE TALKING BY THE COCKPIT.
LIFT-TICKET
I can get you there soon enough. Where's your team?
FALCON
They're coming.
FIVE JOES BEGIN TO WALK TOWARD THE CHOPPER. THERE ARE SEASONED VETERANS; SPIRIT AND GUNG-HO. THEY ARE JOINED BY NEWER JOES; HIT AND RUN, TUNNEL RAT, AND REPEATER.
LIFT-TICKET
Five? I thought your team was six?
FALCON
It is. One of them hopped in a rowboat. He said he had his own way of getting there.
LIFT-TICKET
And you let him do it?
FALCON
A good leader knows when not to question his men.
LIFT-TICKET
What's your excuse?
FALCON
Watch it chopper chump.
(to his team)
Get on board. We've got Joes whose butts might need saving.
THE JOES GET ON THE CHOPPER AND IT TAKES OFF.
EXT. JUNGLE HUT - DAY
THE HUT NOW LOOKS LARGELY DEFENSIBLE. BRACHES COVER PARTS OF IT MAKING IT LOOK BIGGER THAN IT IS. TWO MAKESHIFT PILLBOXES GUARD THE FRONT. WETSUIT IS IN ONE AND LEATHERNECK IS IN THE OTHER.
WETSUIT
Flat head.
LEATHERNECK
Wet brain.
INT. HUT - DAY
FOOTLOSE GUARDS A BACK DOOR ON THE HUT. BEACHHEAD GOES THROUGH THEIR BACK PACKS.
BEACHHEAD
We're low on ammo. Low on grenades.
FOOTLOSE
Bummer.
BEACHHEAD
Yeah. Bummer. Where's Recondo? He should have been back by now. I'd hate to think-
FOOTLOSE
Don't think it then. Stay positive man.
EXT. JUNGLE HUT - SAME
AN EXPLOSION IS HEARD FROM THE JUNGLE.
LEATHERNECK
You hear that?
WETSUIT
About a second before you did.
LEATHERNECK
Then why aren't you firing?
WETSUIT
Ladies first.
A LAZER BLAST BARELY MISSES WETSUIT. THE TWO JOES BEGIN FIRING. BEACHHEAD APPEARS IN THE DOOR AND STARTS FIRING.
BEACHHEAD
Footloose, cover our backs.
THE RIVER PIRATES START POURING OUT OF THE JUNGLE.
BEACHHEAD
They must have captured Recondo.
THE PIRATES SURROUND THE HUT.
INT. JUNGLE HUT - SAME
FOOTLOOSE IS FIRING OUT OF THE BACK DOOR.
FOOTLOSE
You know what I wish guys? That like, a Tomahawk with a platoon of reinforcements just appeared on the horizon.
EXT. JUNGLE HUT - SAME
LEATHERNECK
Footloose, why don't you- Look!
THE TOMAHAWK APPEARS ON THE HORIZON. IT CIRCLES AROUND THE HUT AND DRIVES THE PIRATES BACK INTO THE JUNGLE. THE CHOPPER LANDS.
FOOTLOSE
I wish I had a million dollars.
FALCON
Will you settle for some dogface soldiers?
FOOTLOSE
That's cool too.
BEACHHEAD
Thanks for the save Lieutenant.
FALCON
Don't mention it. Flint called us out when you got overdue on the check in. Now I see why. So those pirates working for Cobra or what?
BEACHHEAD
They are working for someone. They are too well armed to just be your usual band of cutthroats. Worst of all we think they got Recondo.
FALCON
All right let's split up. Spirit you see if you can get Recondo's trail. Take Tunnel Rat, Hit and Run, and Leatherneck. Everyone else back on the chopper. We'll get an aerial view.
BEACHHEAD
Hold up a minute-
FALCON
Beachhead, the mission is mine now. Stand down.
BEACHHEAD
Yes sir.
FALCON
Spirit take a radio. Stay in contact.
SPIRIT TAKES HIS TEAM INTO THE JUNGLE.
THE REST OF THE JOES GET BACK ON BOARD. BEACHHEAD AND FOOTLOOSE ARE THE LAST ONES.
BEACHHEAD
A few months ago I was barking orders at him now look at him.
FOOTLOSE
Just goes to show what a good teacher you are Beachhead.
BEACHHEAD
Your positivity is getting on my last nerve.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
SPIRIT LEADS THE THREE OTHER JOES TO THE SPOT WHERE RECONDO WAS ATTACKED.
SPIRIT
He planted the last claymore here. This is where the trail ends.
LEATHERNECK
This is where the pirates got him?
SPIRIT
Not pirates.
TUNNEL RAT
No pirates? Then who grabbed him?
SPIRIT
The pirates wear sandles. The tracks around here are boots.
TUNNEL RAT
All right, let's go after anyone with boots.
HIT AND RUN FINDS RECONDO'S HAT A FEW STEPS OFF THE PATH.
HIT AND RUN
I've never met the man. Is this his hat?
LEATHERNECK
Darn right it's his hat. You new jokers have no respect for the originals.
HIT AND RUN
Sorry.
SPIRIT
The trail goes off this way.
SPIRIT WALKS INTO THE JUNGLE.
EXT. JUNGLE - LATER
THE JOES ON THE GROUND MAKE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE JUNGLE.
SPIRIT
The foot trail is coming to an end.
LEATHERNECK
So we lost them?
SPIRIT
I said the foot trail.
SPIRIT PULLS ASIDE SOME BRANCHES TO REVEAL A CLEARING. SEVERAL SETS OF TANK TREAD MARKS MOVE AWAY FROM THEM AND INTO THE JUNGLE, CLEARING A WIDE PATH.
TUNNEL RAT
You gotta be kidding me.
ABOVE, THE JOES IN THE TOMAHAWK SEE THE TRAIL AS WELL. IT APPEARS TO GO FAR INTO THE DISTANCE.
SPIRIT
Falcon-
FALCON
I see it Spirit. I see it. That's not a normal tread design. And I don't recognize it as Cobra. Who are we up against?
END OF
ACT TWO
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