Dissapointed Beyond Belief and RAVING!!!

**saint99** · 06-05-2005

Dear Joes Fans,

If any of you read my last post I was hovering on the idea of purchasing some of the new JOE line. I was coming off the high of purchasing the Ninja Battle Set, with which I was so impressed I posted a thread marveling at it's wonder.

I was so impressed I rushed right out and purchased two more new items. Snake/Eyes V23 Swamp Rat combo and the 3 pack Stalker, Double-Clutch, and General Abernathy pack (here I was already upset.... DOUBLE clutch????? General ABERNATHY?????) What was wrong with just ol Clutch and Hawk??

Upon opening the package. YES I OPEN THEM!!! I immediately wished I hadn't. The colors were watered down and weak. Often with sloppy, bright edges. The joints were.... gummy, and the plastic!!!!!!! I literally thought for a second a TRU had sold me a funskool JOE by mistake somehow. The figures have all the plastic integrity of Gumby in a microwave!!!!

None of the figures came with a backpack, the weapons were poorly sculpted and bent like limp phallic symbols with triggers.

These poor excuses for weapons even the figures refuse to touch. Their loose gummy plastic fingers simply refuse to even attempt to hold them. The clear rubber bands provided by Hasbro wrapped wround the hands and weapons was an apparent shoulder shrug acknowledgment that the figures can't independently hold anything included in the package.

The final blow comes as I am attempting to at least strike some minimal, awkward, display pose from my new Snake-Eyes action figure when his BLOODY HAND FALLS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! In what baffled, confused, or depraved Hasbro Research & Development mind did it occur to make a version of Snake-Eyes WHERE HIS HANDS COULD FALL OFF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Aside from the fact that this is just plain disgustingly poor craftsmanship.... KIDS COULD EASILY SWALLOW THESE THINGS. Ages 5 and up are you kidding me?????

It occurs that these new figures are being made for collectors with the intention of them staying in the package......(I'll admit they look cool in the box) But that was never what GI Joes were meant for. They were DURABLE toys begging to be played with.

The worst part of this all, is G.I. JOE is the one and only thing I collect. I LOVE G.I. JOES, I love Hasbro. If I pass a JOE in the store tomorrow I would but it. **** I'm sure I'll get some more with in the week. But I really want better stuff. They did it once right.... why can't they do it again????????

It's simple....... GOOD, well sculpted, well built, updated versions of all the characters we originally loved. NOT 17 new cheap versions of Snake-eyes.

I guess I just needed to vent.... I'm holding an 82 Stalker in one hand, and a 2004 Sgt. Stalker in the other wondering how in the world the could have strayed so far in 20 some years.

See ya next time Joe Fans

Saint

**ImaWalkingCorpse** · 06-05-2005

Originally Posted by saint99

Dear Joes Fans,

The figures have all the plastic integrity of Gumby in a microwave!!!!

See ya next time Joe Fans

Saint

That might be the funniest thing I have ever seen on this board...

**UKGIJOE** · 06-05-2005

Sorry man. Its horrible when things like that happen. Hopefully it will get better. All the best. Feel free to send the figures over to the UK. I'd rather a Snake Eyes with 1 arm than that Hiss IV with Neo Viper, and thats all we have left of Joes over here.

**Obiwanjacoby** · 06-05-2005

Originally Posted by ImaWalkingCorpse

That might be the funniest thing I have ever seen on this board...

Dude, I guarantee you it's twice as funny after watching an entire Dave Chappelle DVD. I read the post just after that, and it sounded like the Sam Jackson Beer sketch. Thanks for the tip on the rental guys. Had a blast.

Edit: That is, until the Snoop Dogg /VD puppets episode.

Oboy, that one crossed the line in so many ways. . .needed a shower after that I felt so dirty.

-PJ