Polar Assault - Tropical Eels Training
File Name: Classified
Primary Military Specialty: Arctic Operations
Secondary Military Specialty: Beach Warfare
By training, SNOW SERPENTS are the cold weather specialists of the EELS branch of the COBRA hierarchy.
This is why being in Miami for a month of grueling EELS training is such a fit punishment for them.
Failing to de-ice the helicopter pad at COBRA’S arctic base, causing COBRA COMMANDER to slip and
fall twice, they found themselves banished to the sweltering beaches of Miami. Unbeknownst to them,
a nearby ARBCO warehouse was having problems of its own. A pack of Polar Bears under DR VENOM’S
Brain Control Devices have broken out of their cages and are loose on the Miami streets leaving a path
of destruction in their wake. The SNOW SERPENTS find themselves the only ones between the Polar
Bears and the COBRA Spring Break Bikini Contest. With the Polar Bears “bearing” down on them, they
know they’re in for the fight of their lives!
SNOW SERPENTS are dressed and ready-to-go into any environment at COBRA COMMANDER’S whim.
Special face covering protect each SNOW SERPENT from the extreme environmental elements they
encounter and they can only ingest fluids through a straw. To fight off scurvy, they add supplements
to their liquids to ensure longer performance through the use of natural vitamins. Highly trained in all
forms of the former Warsaw Pact weaponry, they are also extreme marksmen with beach towel snapping.
Other aspects of their training include airborne ops, anti-tank procedures, and use of snow shoes,
flip-flops, skis, kayaks, surf boards and beach balls.
From the files of SSgt. Craig McConnel: “Surfing in winter gear? Clearly these guys are nuts!”
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